Well, last week I was talking about how I was not well and that I would rather feel better before the transplant. That I wanted to write a book in November doing the NaNoWriMo. That all I could do was lie down and rest, and that it was too boring.
Well, I spoke to my shrink this week and she told me that doing well or writing a book right now is not my job. My job is to be zen. Not to stress. To rest. I am very sick, and the operation is coming soon. Now, the goal is to stay as fit as possible so that the operation and recovery go well.
Overachiever and FOMO!
I was impatient – actually I’m still impatient. I can’t wait to get better! I have plans and goals, and I’ve had a few weeks where I’ve been doing a little better lately. It really made me want to do things again and move forward!
But I have to wait. It’s not realistic to ask all this of me now. Calm down Judith, you will have time to do what you want AFTER the transplant!
I always need a goal, otherwise I feel like I’m wasting my time. It’s like I’m afraid of wasting my life when I’m doing nothing… Well now and until the transplant, my goal is to be as zen as possible and take care of my body!
Training without exaggerating
To take care of my body, I went to see a kinesiologist at the Clinique universitaire de kinésiologie de l’UQTR, who evaluated me and gave me a program adapted to my lack of endurance. In fact, I have two programs to follow: one mandatory three times a week and one if I have a little more energy than I can do when I want. And of course, I still take walks several times a week.
So far, it’s going well! I really wanted to make sure I didn’t overtax myself because I tend to set too big goals for my condition (you’re starting to know me :P). A few weeks ago, I did half an hour of eliptical and I had to lie on the floor for another 30 minutes after it because I was not feeling well. Surrounding myself with a professional allows me to take care of myself safely!
So, rest for myself with a little exercise here and there, and I shouldn’t feel bad for not doing more than I can do. I will have time to live fully after the transplant, when I will be healthier!
See you soon,
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